These are the words that I spoke at my Dad's service... I really miss my Dad today.
Each day that goes by I realize that He is not coming home.....
"There are so many things that I could say, I think that I will start with one of my favorite memories with my Dad....
My mom worked during the day and so in the summers Dad would sleep for a few hours after he got home from working graveyard, and then get up with us kids. One day not long after we moved to our new house in Bonney lake, so I was about 10 and my sister was 8 we decided to bake peanut butter cookies for my Dad. We finished and decided to "deep clean" the kitchen-just like mom would. I found some oven cleaner and sprayed it all over the top of my mom's stove-not knowing that oven cleaner was not stove top cleaner. As I sprayed, it foamed and I soon realized that it was stripping the black paint off of my mom's stove. In a panic I wiped it off, and soon after in tears headed upstairs to tell my Dad. I went in his room, sat on the bed and gently woke him up, I explained what had happened and began to cry even harder. In this moment I realized that now as a parent that my Dad had 2 choices in how to respond-angry and frustrated or full of grace. He took one look at me and saw how devastated I was, he got up dried my tears and said-"let's go to the hobby store in Puyallup-they have lots of good paint choices- we will find a good match" We got home and fixed the top of the stove-I knew that it was not perfect, and was sure that my mom would also notice, but he completely convince me that it was fine and mom would not even notice. In talking with my mom about this she told me that he must have convinced himself, because it was not until much later, when she was doing a deep clean that she noticed the imperfections. This story means so much to me as a parent because I am always given 2 choices in how I respond to my children.
I share this story because just like the oven cleaning accident I have 2 choices in how to respond to my Dad's death... I could be angry or gracious...As I have been full of emotions this last few weeks, I understand more and more that being angry is not really an option for me because I can hear my Dad's voice saying" I love you Jul, you can get through this, you have all that you need and I am so proud of you."
With every person that I have talked with I have also realized that in an odd way, we are the lucky ones. I have no regrets, I knew exactly how much my Dad loved me, so saying goodbye does not seem so hard. The things that I will miss the most about my Dad are his quarks- but Truth be told those live on through each of us.
So, my challenge for each of you is to LIVE-keep short accounts, say your "I love you's" and make sure that those you love are left behind with not regrets because life changes even on a "normal Wednesday"
I love you Dad-
Love, Jul"
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