So here we are.....

I have a rare quite moment in our home. Both boys are sleeping and yes the house is actually clean. I honestly cherish this time, it is time to catch up with my Dad. I still look at and read the blog every night. It makes me feel close to him. The six month mark has come and gone, to most it was just another day. Most people did not acknowledge or even remember that on September 10th it was 6 months since our Father died. For me (Cindy) it was a day of great sorrow. I remember thinking when he died how would we live without him. Well we are, life does go on even if sometime I want it to stop. I still pick up my phone to call him, I still wonder what he is doing and sometimes I still honestly think that this is all just a joke and he will come walking in the front door. I truly miss him everyday. Life is just quite without him. He truly was larger than life. I have been Blessed with amazing dreams and images of my Dad in the last six months. I also take great comfort in the fact that Jake our youngest looks just like my Dad. He loves to be around people and he wants what he wants when he wants it. His smile is infectious, and helps all of us see the good things in life. So here we are, as Jul said most of us are coming out of the fog. We continue to laugh, cry and stick together-because that is what our parents taught us. It is great to see him live on in each of us. Yesterday I came home to Rexer doing his breaks on his truck for the first time without Dad, as I sat in the car watching him I noticed that he was wearing Dad's shirt. He noticed me watching him, a smile and tears is what we both were wearing at the same moment. Later Ry was helping him and I walked out to check on them, Ry came over to show me a tool. I looked down and saw oil and grease all over my 2year-old hands. They looked just like his Grandpa's hands. I thank God daily for the fact that my boys look like there Grandpa. What a blessing.

Life is good, but quite without you Daddy. I miss you. Thank you for always making me feel special and like your little princess even after your death. 27 years with you, makes 6 months without you seem like a life time. I love you.

Cin

Coming out of the Fog....

So, it has been six months since you left us Dad. There is so much I want to tell you, so many moments I wish you where there. First I would tell you that we are doing OK, we have each other and that is all that matters. Leroy, the girls and I have adjusted well. The girls love living at "Grandma's" Elisha is so excited to get a big Christmas tree. They are getting so big, they have had to be so strong and brave during all this change. They miss you, for Elisha, she misses you in real ways, she understands that you are gone and not coming back, that you will never be able to see Mt. Rainer, or give her horse bites, or snuggle in the chair; when she misses you she is so good to share that with us, she likes to spend time out in the garage-"working on projects" Johanna is very matter-of-fact, I think that she must dream about you because she sometimes criesfor you in her sleep. Leroy is amazing, he is our rock, You would be so proud of him, it has been so refreshing to see him begin a process of rediscovering himself. Just a few weeks ago he and Rex went for a Hike on Mt. Rainer, they had a blast and yes, they took the MSR stove. We have really tried to make efforts to remember you and do things that you loved Last Friday the 10th, a date that we are trying to reserve to remember you. We went to Aversanos and the football game-Sumner won in double overtime. Mom is well mom, she is amazing and so strong for all of us, she misses you deeply and yet makes every effort to embrace our new life. She talks about you with love, remembers you with laughter, and honors you with her ability to move forward. I-Julie- feel as if I am coming out of a dense fog, you know the kind where you can't see enough to take a next step, yet you have to keep moving forward. The pain in losing you has given me this amazing gift and that is to LIVE. Everything in my life has changed- and my health is still not well, but everyday I wake up and find myself greatful for this day and thankful for this opportunity to be so close to everyone that I love. I miss you Dad. Love, Jul