New Normals....

So, as every Wednesday comes around I wonder when I will stop dating them back to my Dads death. It has been 7 weeks today, and the last few weeks have been extremely hard. I am back to work, life is seemly normal around here, with the exception of late night tears, strangers coming to the door asking for Dad, phone calls from metro, Dad's bike getting returned, strange dreams with Dad in them, lots of firsts with out Dad and well to be honest returning to normal life sucks, it is so overrated, gone are the days where we did not leave the house, when people came to us with meals and anything else we needed, when we could spend our time reflecting and crying as we felt necessary- I miss this time.... now I get my reflection time on my car rides to and from work, in the middle of the night, in the late evening with my Mom. The tears come harder and faster almost taking my breath away but seem gone quickly. I am learning the balance of grief and joy and that there are no rules in this process. I am also learning that everyone grieves so different, so it is not worth taking offences when somebody does not respond how I need them to or how I think they should. I am so thankful for the first few weeks after my Dad's death because life stopped, and as it does our world has been put in motion again. We had an engagement party for Bri and Stac, Cin is going to have a baby any day now, Elisha had her first school concert at the PAC, we have been so busy projects, our house is for sale, planning a wedding, and the list goes on, so many good things to look forward to....With everyday that goes by, it becomes more real that he is not coming home, that this is our new normal, everybody says it will get easier, and I look forward to that. For now, I am just doing my best to breathe, enjoy my family, and take moments to remember my Dad....
Love, Jul