December 23rd would have been my Dad's 53rd birthday. It was a sad and somber day for us. I started my morning out by climbing Mt. Peak. It was my first time up since my Dad's death. Rex and I took it slow and I enjoyed every step of the way. I felt my Dads arms wrapped around me and I heard his calm soothing voice encouraging me all the way. "You can do it Cin, I am here, you will be okay, I will never leave you." I feel blessed to have had several dreams about my Dad with him saying these very same things to me. These are phrases I heard daily from him when he was alive. I still hear them, sometimes I just have to listen a little harder. There is a bench half way up the hike, it reads-see you at the top. Well there is a new top to Mt. Peak for me. It is were my Dad took his last breath. I stood there crying in Rex's arms and a breeze of warm air blew through on a very cold crisp day. Chills ran up my body, and I was yet again reminded that my Dad is all around me and still with me in everything I do. So much time has passed, but yet I feel like my Dad is still here. I look at Jake and I really see how much time has gone by. Jul said it best; Dad and Jake met in heaven and spent time there together before Jake was born. This must be true because I do not ever feel like my Dad did not meet Jake. Jake is just like him.
This past year was a year of new traditions and new normals for us as a family. After a very, very difficult Thanksgiving Mom, Julie, Leroy, Brian, Stac, Rex and I decided that we would celebrate Dads birthday and Christmas just "us" as my Dad would say. For his birthday we did just that after a very thoughtful gift from a friend with detailed instructions to go out to dinner, we did. We went to one of Dads favorite restaurants in Seattle(yes my Dad went to nice places and also would dress up-that is how much he loved my mom!!!). We (mom and her children) had an amazing meal. With a surprise bottle of champagne at the table. We definitely had a great time. As the wine and food were never ending, we laughed and cried a lot but most of all we celebrated. We celebrated my Father, life, each other and the future. We each told special memories. Like Mom said-it was as if no one else was in the restaurant. It was the best way to celebrate him. We were all together, my Dad would not expect anything different but would also be so proud. My Dad lived, loved and laughed each day of his life and I am trying to do the same.
This past year was a year of new traditions and new normals for us as a family. After a very, very difficult Thanksgiving Mom, Julie, Leroy, Brian, Stac, Rex and I decided that we would celebrate Dads birthday and Christmas just "us" as my Dad would say. For his birthday we did just that after a very thoughtful gift from a friend with detailed instructions to go out to dinner, we did. We went to one of Dads favorite restaurants in Seattle(yes my Dad went to nice places and also would dress up-that is how much he loved my mom!!!). We (mom and her children) had an amazing meal. With a surprise bottle of champagne at the table. We definitely had a great time. As the wine and food were never ending, we laughed and cried a lot but most of all we celebrated. We celebrated my Father, life, each other and the future. We each told special memories. Like Mom said-it was as if no one else was in the restaurant. It was the best way to celebrate him. We were all together, my Dad would not expect anything different but would also be so proud. My Dad lived, loved and laughed each day of his life and I am trying to do the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment