I have been meaning to write for some time, to reflect on the last few months. It has been 5 months today, and in the picture of a lifetime that is nothing. Every time the 10th rolls around it is a very emotional day, a day to reflect, to remember...I really truly just miss Him. I think that we all just miss Him. It is like my heart and my head are finally connecting and I really am beginning to understand that He is really gone and not coming home. I still hit His number on speed dial, hoping that by some miracle he will answer. I am also realizing that it is very hard to share him in his death despite that fact that in life I shared him with so many people. It amazes me that death can propel such a growth process if you allow it.
So, this last weekend was one of great anticipation Brian and Stacy got married. It was a beautiful, small, intimate wedding and I could feel Dad at every moment. I was so scared about being in Seattle without Dad, but found Him everywhere we went. The wedding really was one of the last things that Dad knew about, so I think the thought of the future is a little overwhelming, like it is time to move to forward without him. I don't think I am ready to do this, but it seems that with each passing day, there are no new memories with him, only moments when your heart reflects. So, Dad if I could tell you anything today it would be "thank you so much for meeting us in the city....For being at the wedding in the wind and rain, for helping us find our way around as we realized that you where always our driver in city, and for giving mom the courage to stand tall and enjoy her son's wedding." Love, Jul
